Why does homework cost me money?

I’m growing tired of the imposition homework places on our family life.  It hovers all weekend.  The kids work their butts of at school, we give them fully and completely to their academic institutions.  Can’t we have OUR kids on the weekends and break.  School should be a distant memory at these times.  Not a ticking time bomb.

Also, why are teachers assigning things that cost me money, send us to the store for X,Y,Z…..seriously?  In my book, if the work cannot be accomplished by the fourth or fifth grader on his or her own…..then it shouldn’t be assigned!  I’ve got the mid-year blahs, and cabin fever.  Not a good combo.

Make a fun of work

The frozen dog poop piles were staring at me.  I didn’t want to gather them, it would be easy.  The 15 degree temps would have frozen them into hockey pucks by now. Too cold, too gross.  Then an idea….why is it always me picking them up? I have four kids.

A thought came to me.  I gathered the kids, I provided them with gloves and bags.  I displayed 4 prizes.  A grand prize for the biggest poop-gatherer, 2 prize, 3rd, and so on.  I explained that it was like an Easter Egg hunt and set the timer.  “On your mark, get set, go”……off they ran to fill their bags.  No complaints, no fights, just running to grab the poop.   Anybody criticizing others would be automatically disqualified.  When the timer sounded they need to place their bags down for inspection!! They had fun, and my husband and I, warm and toasty inside laughed at them and enjoyed some peace.

Need to find more chores to apply this to.

more noniwisdom

1. Can’t spring for the fancy night out w/my husband.  However, I am savvy enough to download a menu.  Pick the item I think we might order, read the detailed description, go get ingredients, wine, bread, hit up Rhapsody for some good music…..DATE NIGHT for a fraction of the $$$$.

2. Garlic smell on your hands?? rub them on your metal faucet…no more stink, haven’t figured out how to get rid of the bleach smell….think that is a turn on for some.  Nothing spells clean and sterilized like CLOROX.

3. No lingerie…..just shower up, moisturize down, prance in your bday suit right by the hubby….he’ll forget you weren’t wearing your laciest best.

4.  No baby sitter…..tell your kids how lucky they are to be able to “on demand” the movie of their choice until bed….proceed w/ items #1 on the list and skip to #3 once they are all fast asleep!

Talk to the blog….cause the hubby ain’t listening

I clinged to my husband, begged him for a hug before I went up to bed.  I’d been fighting a cold and  need to sleep to build my strength for 3 days of single parenting ahead.  He has engrossed in whatever it was he was watching.  My normally attentive husband was surprised that I would stomp away at his half-ass attempt to wrap one arm around me the evening before his 6am departure.   I just spent the last 3 days with some at least 1 of 4 kids home from school, subbed, attended room mom meetings, phoned to secure buses for school field trips, etc.  I was tired and weary about the days that lie ahead.  An embrace of encouragement would have made a big difference.  Not today, hubby had other things on his mind.

I hate when the two life-paths don’t match up.  However, brief and occurrence…it doesn’t work for me.  My husband usually just accepts it for what it is, a busy time, catch ya later.  I know you’ll be there for me.  I take it and run with it.  It makes me feel all out of whack, unappreciated, etc.  As I blow noses, check temperatures, run to the pediatrician (only to be told all is well), I listen to his dinner plans etc.  The jealousy building inside wrestling w/ a bad case of the “I wants”.

I’m excited for his return, just want to hang out with him.  It makes me realize how a few events toppled on top of each other can really play havoc w/ the emotional intimacy of a marriage.  I NEED my best friend!!!! Yes, I was sick, yes I was busy, yes I couldn’t talk, put-out, or listen very well.  I was caring for a family.  Yes, he had to go…NOW I WANT HIM BACK.  I want to put all the pieces of my family together and count our blessings.  Just a cold, got a job, feeling better, house still standing, no earthquake here, EVERY blessing, big and small.   I want to gather my ducks and my husband and bathe in our family blessings. Then I’ll probably put out a little.

Dinner for four

Lately I’ve been thinking of escaping.  The Caribbean, the coast, another plane of existence have all crossed my mind in the past few months. I realized the other night, sometimes a 3 hr. dinner with good friends is really all that’s in order.  I sat with 3 other mom friends and forgot about everything else.  We’ve got a good energy group there and I realize it consists of gals (apart from my husband) that I seek out in good times and stressful times.  Sure, I have a mom and sisters but sometimes that family bond muddles some of the growth going on.   We are each going through our own little growth phase, embarking on a career, going to school, trying to decide what to do….all while trying to be great wives and wonderful moms.  In this place, we can talk about all the silly things are kids do without someone telling us to “quit talking about the kids” (truth be told, we all love to hear the stories), how crazy we can be, fears, ambitions, other moms.  The core of this group is pure and genuine….just good vibes.

As similar as we are, the differences are comical.  The mom with all the answers confesses to piling self-help books up at the bookstore counter.  She shares how she breaks down and cries about how much she feels she is “screwing up”.  She later admits she will fix the world by Tuesday b/c she has the right books in hand.  Another mom shares a very public family crises, and then we don’t dwell but move on to the fun so that she can escape, another reveals some drunken photos from a child-free New Year’s Eve, another shares her suprising escapades from the same night.  In between we share concerns approaching our pubescent children.  How/When to bring up sex? The funny stories that come with the kids body awareness.

I feel so fortunate to have this place to escape.  It helps me remember that I don’t have to pack a bag and book a flight, just some dinner reservations for 4 around the corner.

Dollar experience

I’m a bargain hunter to be sure.  I just can’t seem to get my brain around the dollar store experience.  I always feel like they are trying to pull a fast one on me.  I’m probably too analytical to be their customer. Why is this bag of Blow Pops $3 at Target and a buck here? Are these REALLY Blow Pops? What did you do to them? Where did you get them? Those things keep running through my mind.  The lack of quality of everything makes me nervous.  Let’s be frank…..its a store that pretty much sells garbage! Some moms swear by them, I can’t seem to get there.

I zipped into one to see if I could find some equipment for my son’s class project.  I can’t force myself to buy a food item there OR anything that goes on your body.  In a weak moment I did purchase some hand sanitizer b/c I needed to replenish my in-car supply.  I thought I’d try the lavender scent, well a. it stung my hands, b. it smelled like lavender that was harvested from someones butt-crack, c. it’s not even the right percentage of alcohol to kill germs!!  Again I need to always ask myself….What would Noni do? She probably would not  go to the dollar store.  She would probably spend the extra 70 cents for a brand she trusted., I should trust my instincts and stay the heck out of there. Whose the master-mind behind this? What is their business plan?  Let’s sell only things of very crappy quality and see who will come in and buy it for a dollar???  They are probably much wealthier than I but, it just doesn’t add up to me?

Noni’s gonna catch you!

I’m running, playing beat the clock, whatever you want to call it.  I’m running from my gene pool and I just don’t know if that is possible.  Every morning I wake up and  I see evidence of the Noni I’m destined to become.  I find myself thinking: “When did THAT hair grow THERE?”,  “When did I start looking like a spark-plug, and less like an hour glass?”, ” Why so wrinkly?”.   Let’s be honest, there are somethings in life we just instinctively know will not be ours.  I will probably not age gracefully. All of our Noni’s were fine, skinny, Italian beauties at some point.  I did mention my other lineage is Russian, and those Grandmas are built like petite tanks and unfortunately wrinkly too.

Some gals can just look about them and know that the odds are they will age like a fine wine.  They need not motor up the “down escalator” I’m trying to climb.  They’ll just be a more mature version of the perfection that they are.  NO, for me its going to be a lot of work. Like boarding up the cabin for a Nor’easter blowing through.

One thing I know is embedded in my gene-pool is resourcefulness and good cooking.  You simply can’t replace generations of that behind you.  I was raised knowing what the sauce is supposed to smell like, just when to pull the espresso off the burner, when to start pounding that pizza dough, how to for m a relationship with a butcher, etc.  Those are things I’m not sure you can learn.  It’s just sort of cultivated in you. Sometimes I can almost feel everyone women that has come before me in the kitchen .I’m going to hope those are the things most important to my husband and not so much the looks.  The book, not the cover, because that Noni is going to catch me!

All alone with a bunch of dishes

I’m sitting in my empty house, ignoring the breakfast dishes pouring out of the sink.  I’m enjoying some quiet, but I gotta tell you, I miss my buddies.  As crazy as those 4 kids drove me over break, I miss their company.  I feel bad that they have to trudge through a Monday that would bring me to my knees.  School, Religious Ed, Basketball.  The older they get the more I appreciate their actual company.  They are pretty stubborn though, then I my little birds that followed the mama around…no questions asked.

We’ve settled into our new normal I guess.  All that’s left is for me to figure out how I will contribute to our puzzle. As the dust is settling after 2 years of erratic employment, some things are better, some things are not as I would have hoped but, we are blessed.  We are good. We had some kind of angel-crew guiding us through this.  I’ve stared down many an “opportunity”, refused to sell-out on my heartfelt rejection of a career and now need to come up with something in between.  I’m thankful I’ve had the time to ponder, consider, the blessing to say no.  I vow this will be my year to put my things in persepective, oh yeah and quit abusing my body as 40 is peeking around the corner! I need to look good for my Carinbbean Christmas!

At peace

It’s been a crazy year.  A year ago this time my husband and I were pretty somber.  We didn’t know how we would survive the year that was ahead.  We made it, and as my blog demonstrates, not without alot of growing pains.  This Christmas, I’m a little more hopeful, much more has gone for us than against us.  We are blessed with absolutely amazing children an incredibly loving home.  I need to remind myself of this when we are screaming, irritating each other, criticizing each other, and just too stinking busy to stop and smell the roses.

I woke up feeling a little stressed about Christmas.  Lots to do, lots to cook, lots to clean. A little worried about how it will all get done and paid for. I stopped to think about our night last night.  It was fun, a family memory to cherish not just skip over.  We had a nice dinner together, for once the kids lingered at the table with us and TALKED.  We talked about what we admire in people, how to help people, aspirations we had (even as mundane as where we wanted to take our kids to dinner).

My husband and I kept the wine pouring, the kids helped themselves to ice cream sundaes, then we played music and DANCED.  Everyone got to choose 4 songs at one time.  Magically, everyone was cooperative and remained relatively uncritical.  The only guidelines we gave were it could not be hard rock, kinda mellow for our mood.  I learned that my kids like the GLEE soundtrack, ALOT.  I had nice converations with my tween about some of the topics on that show.  I learned that my son likes music, just listening to it, not so much singing or dancing to it. I learned that my first grader knew that she really liked Norah Jones and asked for “Don’t know why” and than sang it for her father and I (very touching).  My other first grader was surprisingly much like my son, enjoying the mix, picking her music, but beyond that just wanted to “be”.

As much as  I covet that family vacation, I need to remind myself that these are the moments that are just has memorable.  Really, if a friend asked what I did last night it would sound very typical.  It wasn’t, it was powerful, I learned something.  I need to slow down, not always be DOING (trust me, that is hard because I always feel like a Titanic survivor treading water to avoid being swallowed into the black abyss).  I really must just BE.

Don’t put my face on Facebook!

I laughed as a friend told me a story about a weekend party.  Many of my pals were  there, it sounded like a fun night.  I couldn’t shake the urge to just hole up w/my family so, we stayed home.  My friend is a rockstar mom, teacher, your regular “grab-life-by-the-horns” girl.  Her motto is “Life is Good”.  S0, she’s telling me of her night and how she will be paying for it for many more nights.  Fun times spent talking dancing etc.  She interrupts this story to tell me of a woman at the party snapping photos for her Facebook page.  Now….my friend pauses and her voice changes, I wonder if she’s possessed.  She says in her demonic voice “I told her that she’ll get on MY bad side REAL quick if she puts MY face on Facebook.”  She continues “take my picture for your scrapbook for the hosts of the party, etc, but don’t you dare post it onthe internet.”  Amen to that! I think…after I secretly wonder what she’s hiding.

Seriously, are we no longer safe to just party with some friends?  Just becuase a guest has an internet site, must we risk being put out there in Facebook world for God knows who?  What’s the etiquette here? Do people ask others before they click and post? If you werent at the party, why do you care?I’m not liking this trickling into every aspect of socializing.  Oh please, oh please, don’t let my kids start Facebooking!